The other day I was having coffee with my mum at my local cafe. I was sipping a long black (OK, it was a large cappuccino) when my mum asked me a question, “Why do we always come to this cafe?”.
I live in a suburb in Sydney where you can find a bearded barista on just about every street corner. You know, the kind of barista who judges you for not bringing your keep cup.
So, why do I choose the same cafe every day? Is it because they don’t judge me for contributing to environmental destruction? Or, maybe it’s because they selflessly listen to me talk about my disastrous Tinder dates (the world deserves to know about you, stingy-Simon and photoshop-Paul).
It’s all the above. I’ve tried other coffee shops, but every time I have, I felt like I was cheating. Like the time I promised my now-ex-boyfriend I wouldn’t watch a Netflix series without him, but did (hence the ex).
But why all the guilt? It boils down to WIIFM: ‘What’s In It For Me?’. The reason I continue to go back to this particular cafe is that I have built an attachment. It’s the same reason you choose to go to a particular gym, even when you know there are tonnes of other options. What’s in it for you? Maybe there’s a cute P.T (#guilty)? Or, perhaps they don’t yell at you when you mistake a burpee for lying down (also #guilty, I promise I was doing a backward burpee).
Primitively, we put our needs first in order to survive, which has carried on through the course of natural selection. The caveman didn’t select a random cave and settle. They sought out one which would protect them from lions, was close to water and the furthest away from their in-laws.
When you’re dealing with a colleague, customer, or anyone in the world, ask yourself: what’s their ‘WIIFM’. Not only will this personalise every interaction you have, it will address the needs of everyone you meet.
Remember, if there’s no relevance, importance or consequence, people will seek out another cave.
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